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Team Shocker Newsroom
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KORV€R's Ransom news releases
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Creighton grad Korver held hostage by Team Shocker Team Shocker's fantasy operation swoops in and steals CU alum from Jays graduates PAPILLION, Neb., December 2006CU Bluejay fans are flocking to their television sets for the latest news on Kyle Korver, who has been missing since November of 2006. Team Shocker has claimed responsibility and has held Korver as a hostage for its fantasy basketball team, the aptly named KORV€R's Ransom. The Ransom's raid occured last month during a fantasy basketball draft. Photos of the raid have been released, much to the amazement and shock of Creighton fans throughout the United States.  (AP) WuShock (left) moves in to nab Kyle Korver in the eighth round of The CBA fantasy basketball league draft. "I totally did not see this coming," said Colt 45 Cihal, CBA commish and manager of Altman's Army. "Obviously Korver is very valuable and to let Team Shocker get him and hold him hostage has really shaken the foundation of our Bluejay community." Bricub Ayers, CU grad and manager of Europe's Game, agreed with Cihal. "So far our attempts to rescue Special K have failed," he said. "We had high hopes of getting Korver but have come up short. It's been the story of our season off the court and on the court, sadly." Team Shocker's demands include €1.2 million and an apology from Dana Altman saying how overrated his Jays were this year. "If we can't get the apology from Altman, we'd settle for either Ayers or Cihal getting on their knees and groveling," Team Shocker President Pettis said. Until then, Team Shocker vice-president Schroeder said Korver will be forced to eat his weight in Wheaties and continue to drain 3-pointers for the Ransom. About KORV€R's Ransom KORV€R's Ransom is the fantasy basketball division of Team Shocker. Founded in 2006, its continuing mission was to draft Kyle Korver and hold him hostage from any and all Creighton fans in The CBA fantasy basketball league. About The CBA League The CBA League, also established in 2006, is a group of elite fantasy managers assembled in Yahoo! League #165762. The CBA consists of eight teams with some of the best fantasy players. This news release contains forward-looking statements that involve risks and uncertainties, as well as assumptions that the CU Bluejays won't suck ass on the basketball court. If the risks and uncertainties ever materialize or the assumptions prove incorrect, the results of Team Shocker and its consolidated subsidiaries could differ materially from those expressed or implied by such forward-looking statements and assumptions. All statements other than statements of historical fact are statements that could be deemed forward-looking statements, including but not limited to statements related to the closing of the proposed acquisition; statements of the plans, strategies and objectives of management for future product and service availability or functionality; and statements relating to the execution of integration plans. |
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