A three-team trade has Andres Nocioni rather confused and has strengthened the rosters of some of the CBA League's finest. A second trade involving the Ransom is not out of the question as their hostage strategy on the waiver wire has them collecting talent in return.

The trades have made some ripples throughout the sports world. Even Cleveland Indians broadcaster Harry Doyle offered up his opinion and foresight via a phone interview.

"In case you missed it, and judging by the chatter on the message board you haven't, the Ransom have made a few trades and are threatening to climb out of the middle portion of the standings," Doyle said.

To start the trade winds blowing, Ransom GM luckeechief agreed to his second trade with piatkowskiYES! this season, swapping Nocioni for Lamar Odom.

"We had a little confusion pulling it off," luckeechief said. "That silly Frenchie we have on our team, Boris Diaw, boarded the wrong bus en route for Mark's team. It was actually Dirk Nowitzki playing a joke on Boris, but we got things figured out.

"Just another example of the Germans picking on the French."

Before Nocioni could unpack, he was sent to Altman's Army in exchange for Andrea Bargnani. The ever-sneaky Cihal wasn't sure if the Ransom would want a dude named Andrea, but his "Italian Stallion" campaign did the trick.

It was rumored that Altman's Army had tried and failed to lure Nocioni away. But the Ransom made it look easy, coaxing yet another foreign Chicago Bulls player away from piatkowskiYES!

What is proving to be more difficult is getting All-The-Way-Johnson to release his kunk fu grasp of Pau Gasol. The Spaniard was originally drafted by the Ransom in the ninth round of the CBA League draft.

"It's a lot harder to make a deal on this side of the negotiating table," luckeechief said. "Usually I'm not the one paying the ransom."

When reached for comment, ATWJ did not deny reports that negotiations with the Ransom are already underway. The proposed deal has Gasol going back to the Ransom in exchange for another player named O'Neal, this time being eight-round pick Shaquille O'Neal. Earlier this season Jermaine O'Neal was sent to Pache's team from KORVER's Ransom.

"And who did I get in return? Boris F-ing Diaw," luckeechief said. "Seriously, Pache owes me Gasol after I've gift wrapped two fantasy championships for him in two different leagues."

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About KORV€R's Ransom

KORV€R's Ransom is the fantasy basketball division of Team Shocker. Founded in 2006, its continuing mission was to draft Kyle Korver and hold him hostage from any and all Creighton fans in The CBA fantasy basketball league. 

About The CBA League

The CBA League, also established in 2006, is a group of elite fantasy managers assembled in Yahoo! League #165762. The CBA consists of eight teams with some of the best fantasy players.

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This news release contains forward-looking statements that involve risks and uncertainties, as well as assumptions that the CU Bluejays won't suck ass on the basketball court. If the risks and uncertainties ever materialize or the assumptions prove incorrect, the results of Team Shocker and its consolidated subsidiaries could differ materially from those expressed or implied by such forward-looking statements and assumptions. All statements other than statements of historical fact are statements that could be deemed forward-looking statements, including but not limited to statements related to the closing of the proposed acquisition; statements of the plans, strategies and objectives of management for future product and service availability or functionality; and statements relating to the execution of integration plans.